|
|
|
November 24th, 2004
07:14 pm - My blog has shifted!!
Dear folks,
I am shifting my blog over to blogger..
http://thedreamerz.blogspot.com
i can do whatever i want with my blog..continue to show your support k??
more juicy stuffs are coming up and waiting for you!!!!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/happy.gif) chipper
|
November 21st, 2004
08:32 pm - Updates and updates
Jus recovered from the exam fever...slept for 12 hrs after having only 5 hours of sleep in 4 days.
Recently quite fantasized by the art of web site building. Trying to build a brand new website for my blog now, will give u guys the web site once it is done!
Anyway, bought a violin album yesterday. I didn't have the intention of buying it initially when i was hanging around in HMV. Outta curiosity i went to the classical and jazz dept to listen to maksim's first album. As i was looking at the shelves of cd albums below the cd player, i saw this interesting album cover, two boyband-lookalike yong men called DUEL. What the hell was this boyband album doing here? and i took a close look, chey! It was a violin duo album, both of them are very young british violinist. So i skipped Maksim's ablum for it.
The first track is pretty astonishing, It shows the magic of two violins playing together. Pretty amazed, i looked further down at the song list, yay! it features pachebel's canon also! And i like their version of canon! So I gave up the thoughts of buying Maksim , 2046 soundtracks or Utada's album to exchange for it.
And I didn't realised there was a wedding match in the album, till the media window player in my laptop playing it loudly in the hall. (tupid)
The musical pieces are all very common and popular, you may not know the title, but I am sure you heard of them before somewhere in the movies. Beautiful tracks.
Track Listings
1. Danse Macabre (Jonathon Creek)
2. Chi Mai (Morricone From Life & Times Of David Lloyd George)
3. Theme From Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence
4. Ashokan Farewell
5. Minuet - Boccherini (The Lady Killers)
6. Cavatina (The Deer Hunter)
7. Canon - Pachelbel
|
8. Hungarian Dance No.1 - Brahms
9. Barcarolle - Offenbach
10. Nocturne - Borodin
11. In The Bleak Mid-Winter
12. Petite Fleur
13. Bridal March
| 
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/artistic.gif) creative
Current Music: Chi Mai by Duel
|
November 16th, 2004
04:15 am - what a tupid subj!
I cant believe i am studying the picture below, yeah, i am mugging for my bioelectronics now. What a lousy subject, because it is new, so the subject deserves to have a scope which is vague! super vague! we are expect to know chem, bio and photonics and nanotech! what the hell??! We are normal down to earth engineers with physics and only physics...why we have to stuff with all the foreign alien info? and at the same time we haven even get ourselves equip with our very own highest knowledge, nano tech. The lectures jus throw us a big jumbo package for us to feed into our brain within 3 months! It's okay with good lecture notes, but the problem is the lecture notes are suck to the ultimate point! ARGH! LOUSY SCHOOL!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/working.gif) busy
|
November 15th, 2004
10:45 pm
this pic is taken @ tapis fall around july before sch opened. wonder why are we climbing the stone... macan like a marriage stone, everybody wanna climb on it...chey!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/curious.gif) curious
|
November 9th, 2004
01:26 pm - criterias? requirements or just a wish list?
For a girl's blog, there will be one entry bound to appear for sure. THat is....criterias for their lovers..
Jus read my good friend's blog, i kept laughing away when i read her criterias for guys. Cute! first of all, must speak english...ahahhaa! So i assume some europeans, japanese and koreans will never be in your list right?
outta your 10 friends, there will be one who plays the kpo fellow and ask you about criterias for lovers.
During younger days, i was quite enthu in answering this...nowadays? chey! don't bother to list or state anymore.
Perhaps getting old, i don't think a guy that fits my criterias will ever appear. And i don't think i can ever fit myself into a guy's criterias. Plus I am very fickle minded, the list will keep on changing everyday, it's so tiring. I can be interested in a guy at one time, but lost interest in him the following week. Sounds pathetic right?
Well, that's me. And i think i'll never going to change. I am born with it man!
What lizard said is true, for a girl, no matter how high she sets her criteria, her mr right will always turn out to be below the list's requirements. It's something to do with woman's nature. We tend to go by intuition.Rather saying we look at the inner side of a guy than his apperance, i think we go for the care and concern that a guy can showers. How much a girl worth in a guy's heart is the key criteria on the golden scoreboard. If let's say you are a guy, with a down-to-earth ordinary look and nothing special, and you can treat the girl you like more than anything else, and the girl awares of this, i can say you already win the battle by half. COme on, girls are easily touched by fine details that a guy does for them. And that partly explains why some girls are blinded by extra care and concern during the courtship, and come to realise that it's a mistake in the end after putting her foot in.
Instead of saying criterias, i think stating softspots(or wishlist?) will be more practical.
Cos it's just like a lucky draw, it will be a fortune strike to you if you really win the prize you've always wanted. If not, well... it doesn't really matter, life still goes on fine and smoothly.
My softspot? Those who know how to play violin or cello.Ha!
**** Dream on again, pig.****
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/okay.gif) lazy
|
November 6th, 2004
03:02 am - Pon CHek
Had a cycling session on Thursday again. I had been looking forward to it for a long time, cos of exam, i've been supressing the urge to cycle for a long long time. My adrenaline rush...
Well, this time we included a friend of mine, he joined ABC-MTB session for the first time. Oh should be AC-MTB, cos that Ah Bao was mugging hard in canteen for the paper next day. And I promised to buy supper for him, his silly roomie, my roomie and her friend.
So we started off quite smoothly, i was trying to draft Aw so that i could save some energy (eh..lazy heh). Just as i was happily looking at his rear wheel,(which i shouldn't) he suddenly swifted to the right and i lifted up my head to see what's going on, just to realised i was going to bump onto a bus stop curb! yeah! of cos, i didn't bump onto it!
We cycled to chinese garden mrt station, and he turned into a side route with stones and rocks. So we followed him. I felt intimimated by rocks bigger than my foot! And again, i tend to follow the front cyclist very closely behind..without seeing what was in front, i was kinda freak out and stopped for safety! Of course the one behind me complaint!
Turning around the mrt station, i was challenged with a small off-road slope.
"Dare to try?" These words always able to make me take up any challenge.
After calculated the highest extent of injury, i decided to give it a try!
First time trying: no controlling of brake, almost hit pillar without knowing, but still managed to conquer and remained safe and sound. And this first attempt had sent a shiver down the spines of these 2 guys. "You almost hit a pillar, do u know? Not kiasi ijjit?" "Did i almost hit a pillar? i thought i got siam? (avoid)" "No no..is the pillar which siams you."
Well...not contented and satisfied, i tried again! This time with brakes!
The more i tried, the more confidence i had and of course,the more fun i had!
We set off to science centre to try some obstacles, but there were two black gorillas guarding the place, so we moved on after a short while.
On the way to small trail near Jurong east station, we stopped to play with staircase. I always wanted to ride down the staircase, but afraid of falling down. And that night i managed to go down the stairs..but 2 steps only! ahahah! Come to think about it, it was not that scary at all! going to try more steps in the coming days!
After that, here comes my disastrous move! As we cycled along the sheltered walk way of Jurong east station, i went to ride over the drain..first time..nothing wrong...second time back to the walkway, "hey, your tyre punctured!" Turned my head to look at the butt of jielun, realised the wheel had totally deflated. Oh! What a disastrous move! I shouldn't be playful and cycled across the drain. Later came to know that though MTB is ruggard but cannot abuse it...cycle over the drain will cause the rim to cut the tube within the wheel..especially when the tube is starting to deflat!
Oh no oh no! I cant cycle back to school!! Tried calling friends, none of them was free to send tube for me! I was lucky enough i tink, my friend whom i called earlier and said he was not free, messaged me to offer his help! My savior! He drove his 6688 from his home to bring a tube for me and helped me to pump it up! SO touched! And he got a paper next morning somemore! I was pretty embarrassed cos at this time, everybody was studying and i was playing a fool and creating trouble for people! Dumbo me!
After pumping up my bike, we went back..and the bad thing did not stop here! I tried to turn without slowing down and stupid enough, i used my front brake! In the end, the front lost control.I was 'kiap' by my bike (my thigh was caught between the handle bar and top tube of the frame! End up with a big bruise at my inner thigh and a medium size bruise at the outter part).
The rest of the journey was quite okay just that my speed was not consistent and my legs were not strong enough to hold for the speed i want. Bloody hell!
Supper delivery for friends had to be cancelled, but we still had our bakchommee in the end.
Anyway, Aw said,"Why are you so high tonight?"
I never try any 'stunts' normally, perhaps inspired by a blog of a female cyclist i recently found on web. She inspired me to cycle with passion and somehow i tink being careful is good but not to the extent of kiasi, else you'll never surpass the frame of ability you set for yourself. For every fall, i learnt something, gained experience, my courage and confidence were elevated to a higher level. I am not trying to fall for fun, i still feel pain afterall, but it's the pain that tells you, "hey, i did have the courage to try and go beyond!" it feels great sometimes...i am mad...
I am going to try jumping curb next time.
And good for me, i no longer got the awkward feeling of my friend joining us for cycling. Perhaps, i already see him as a normal friend. For some, you should know what i am talking about. I can fall at ease and not afraid of spoiling image. (oh yes, i don't have image! i know u guys will say that!)
I am still in dilemma in whether to go mass swap or not..haiz..
got alot of bike stuffs to buy but no money..here's my wish list (for cycling-related stuffs only!):
1) cateye front light
2) Met helmet
3) Tube (one for myself, one to return to 6688)
4) SPD
5) SPD shoes
6) Cycling jersey
7) tights
8) pump
9) saddle bag
hopefully in the years to come, i can be good enough to use crankbrothers candy. dream on man, pig!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/dirty.gif) dirty
Current Music: roomie is sleeping! no music!
|
October 31st, 2004
01:02 am - Desires desires
Some said the desire of buying things is in inversely relationship with the amount of money you have in the pocket. I agree...I have so many things to buy, yet i can only think of it. Just think of it and no action is allowed, I cant let myself fall deeper into the financial crisis.
So just to dream a little bit, here are the things i've been thinking of during the past few months... drool*:
1) a cateye front light for my jielun
2) a selve alien helmet for myself
3) a columbia windbreaker
4) a camelbak peakbagger
5) an adidas watch
6) a speedo swimming suit
yah..i think that's all...hmmm...for now onli..realise all are sports stuff...why? cos my sis has agreed to share the cost of piano with mi! yeah!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/surprised.gif) awake
|
October 14th, 2004
06:46 pm - Sweet Song
This song is not very publicise in his last album, ye hui mei. The lyricist is from public who won the competition of penning the best lyrics for this song.
Try download the song and read the lyrics, especially the first paragraph...Wah....
Listen to murshy song once in a while is okay, but not everyday.
你听的到
作词∶曾郁婷 作曲∶周杰伦
＊有谁能比我知道 你的温柔像羽毛
秘密躺在我怀抱 只有你能听得到
还有没有人知道 你的微笑像拥抱
多想藏著你的好 只有我看得到
站在屋顶只对风说 不想被左右
本来讨厌下雨的天空 直到听见有人说爱我
＃坐在电影院的二楼 看人群走过
怎麽那一天的我们 都默默的微笑很久
△我想我是太过依赖 在挂电话的刚才
坚持学单纯的小孩 静静看守这份爱
知道不能太依赖 怕你会把我宠坏
你的香味一直徘徊 我舍不得离开
Repeat ＊,＃,△
我想我是太过依赖 在挂电话的刚才
坚持学单纯的小孩 我舍不得离开
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/sleepy.gif) sleepy
|
October 9th, 2004
03:33 am - Romantic NTU
Never thought of anything nice about NTU structural buildings, it is so industrial park..like one of those in Suzhou, China.
Walking back to hall from north spine canteen at a wee hour of 2am today, the surroundings around me completely changed the picture in my mind about NTU.
With orangie sky with little droplets falling to the earth, the whole NTU is smeared with gentle rain. Lights that are suppose to prevent the school from being hidden by the darkness of night, suddenly transformed into romantic illuminating stars. Shimmering in walkways, along the corridors, underneath the buildings, a perfect dating atmosphere is hence created!
Wonder is there any couple walk around in NTU just to chit chat till dawn? That will be so romantic...especially after the rain, when the smell of freshness fills the surrounding air.
Too bad, i walked alone when i was appreciating the beautiful serene surroundings. Not that I don't have somebody to ROMANTIC with me...chey! but i am more afraid of any supernatural thing that can happen to me...ahahaha!
NTU is really a different environment when comes to late night. All the noise and crowd vanish into thin air, taking off the mask of stress and competition and the school reveals it's calm and quiet side.
Oh..it rains again.
Current Mood: refreshed
Current Music: FIR - Lydia
|
October 7th, 2004
01:04 pm - communication in sophisticated animals (II)
Funny enough, having the most intelligent brain on earth, we are rather bad in communication. With so many ways to communicate, in different languages, whether in vocal or words, we don't really manage to convey the real meaning behind our messages most of the time.
In lectures and tutorials, some professors are trying their very best to explain some important concepts,till they have another strand of white hair..we still cant figure out what they are trying to say.
In social circles, what we really mean may end up misinterprete by others because misuse of words.
In family, quarrels and fights are always begin with miscommunication.
Perhaps it's because of our complex mind, which kinda scanning through the barcode behind the message that we received, again and again. Like interpolation, it scrutinises every word in the sentence into smaller and smaller detail. Message which meant to be simple ends up to be complicated and the real meaning is distorted.
Or the other way round, when sending out a message, the barcode in the message we want to transmit is not complete and we fail to screen off some unwanted contents and noise.
Some choose to be silent and not to communicate when there is miscommunication arises. Sometimes, it works. Cos saying more will aggrevate the situation, truth will speak itself. Sometimes, it worsens the situation as no effective communications is made, both parties failed to understand the root of the problem and let the misunderstanding manifests like a virus that slowly destroys the whole relationship before one can salvage.
It's hard to learn effective communication, only few people in the world is able to do that. That's why we have courses like speech and drama course, communication skills, human management since young.
We can't draw a line in what we should say and what we shouldn't say, different people have different intepretation and metality. It's a totally grey area and it can't be justified. Of course, it is meaningless to add filter to our brain, in a way that whenever we wanna say anything, it will filter out any potential harmful contents. This makes the relationship between human a superficial one.
But at the very least, we should aware of the lowest bottom line. Avoid saying what can be hurtful to others.
So whether to be silent or speak out when a problem/misunderstanding arises, it is hard to justify also. To friends i think i will choose to speak out from now on. Just like what my friend said to me, if you treat him/her as your friend, you should speak out your thoughts and feelings. Giving them a chance and right to see a clearer picture of you. Else it will be unfair to them, you cant expect them to figure out themselves.
Dolphins emit a special sound of certain frequency to communicate in sea, simple, clear and understandable within their kind.
While for human, it requires a certain frequency hidden within our mind to click and some wise ways to communicate effectively with one another.
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: FIR - lydia instrumental
|
October 5th, 2004
04:08 am - Communication in sophisticated mammals (part 1)
Before getting to the real topic, here's the foreword.
(I am not picking on anybody, i got my point across liao and just bury the hatchet. NOw i am trying to say about myself, my feelings and thoughts after this incident.)
I caused two of my friends to quarrel over me. I feel bad about it, not in the sense that i did something wrong but it's kinda unworthy for them to quarrel over someone like me. Even to this point of time, when things have slightly cooled down, i still believe that i am not in wrong. Well i thank my girl friend for standing up for me, for the first time in my whole life i really feel that there is somebody (beside my family)out there to stand up for me.Thanks! :)
Ever since in primary school, i started to get bullied by people. During that time, i was quite hot-tempered and did whatever way i thought was right, so maybe i deserved it also. There was once i nearly got a beatup by some bastards for no reason.
Perhaps i am the youngest in the family who have 3 elder siblings much older than me, i don't have the authority to talk at all and not to say speak out for my own rights. Gradually as i grew up, I had become somebody who had more or less lost the power to fight for own rights.
In secondary school, i believed in a rather silly faith, as long as i controlled my pettiness and having a good temper, people won't pick on me and i would have nice friends. Well... in the end it was wrong. Human tends to take advantage of favourable situations. I ended up dominated by a narrow-minded and gossipy friend. For the four years, i was not happy at all, living liked a puppet in a war-liked social circle, hidden with a lot of conflicts and traps. I had to beware of friends backstabbing me and spreading untrue rumours about me everytime.
Till JC, i found a group of really true friends. They bear no grudges and suspicions, no internal conflicts ever arise within us. They changed my point of view in making friends. And made me believe in friends and loyal to friends.
Teasing or mocking by guy friends already became part of my life since primary school. I don't mind and i've used to it.
So if you think i am petty to be angry over somebody's casual remarks this time, think about it, i have been teasing and mock by guys for over 10 years, why would i get angry if it is just a normal teasing or casual remark?
If u are not an ugly clown who get teased often like me, you will never know the feeling. Beautiful swams will get tease of course, but always at mild level. Seriously, i don't mind teasings, my threshold is high... but not infinity.
Somehow I think i don't have the right to get angry on any unintentional teasing or casual remarks anymore. Because i always get teased so why bother to be angry? There is no way my pride can get hurt right? I should be able to take it.
Yes, people may say it out unintentionally, does that mean they are not at fault? Maybe only to people who get teased often, these people are not at fault.
Feel sad because friends quarrel because of me, feel sad because nobody understands my plight this time, feel sad that i have soured another friendship again.
Everybody thinks i am under stress or PMS, now everyone afraid of pissing me off and think i will be angry easily. What can i say? It's not easy to be me.
I am just a normal person trying to fight for my own rights and demanding a minimal respect from friends. Aiyah!!!!
(To be continued)
Current Mood: groggy
Current Music: FIR
|
October 2nd, 2004
09:10 pm - Holding back my temper...
I find that recently my EQ drops. I cant help flaring up when people not showing me respect. Yes, of course you can still tease me whichever way you want, i won't mind but not to the extend it will hurt my pride. Sometimes one doesn't know his/her casual mocking may hurt somebody.
Because i am chelsea, so maybe once in a blue mood people hurting my pride is normal? And I should take it easy?
People may think "come on, don't be so petty... they just joking." Well, i realli don't mind their mockings if this can bring happiness or create laughters. But does that mean i should allow them to go overboard? I am not sure. It's hard to draw a line as in whether to accept all or to kick a fuss.
That's why sometimes, you can see some happy-go-lucky people suddenly flare up and never be the same before. They break off with their friends and become very quiet. Cos they couldn't take in all the mockings, teasings or worse, insults that their friends usually give as daily routine.
Deeply in mind, I hope friends will not step on me because i don't get angry easily. I don't do that to them so why should they do this to me?
hmmm..
Or maybe afterall i am too petty lah. Aiyah..don't know lah..whichever way, i still have to learn to control my EQ but i will not allow people to trample on me anymore. Never again. I had enough during sec sch days. There's a famous chinese saying:
When one is too kind, he/she is bound to be bullied. (ren shan bei ren qi)
I am not discouraging people to be kind, but not to be too kind in an extent, it's at your own expenses and has evolved into your agony unknowingly.
To have a good EQ is alot better than having a good IQ. You'll have an easier life and good social circle. Things may just go wrong all the way, once you cannot control your emotion.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/sad.gif) numb
|
02:26 am - why are birds suddenly appear?
*happened to watch "TOO CLOSE" (starring vicki chow,karen mok and shu qi) in AXN channel one of the lonely night. LOUSY show, but nice theme song.*
ClOse To YoU
Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.
That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Just like me (Just like me)
They long to be
Close to you.
Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Hahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Lahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Current Mood: working
|
September 30th, 2004
01:41 pm - Grrrrr....
Sometimes i wondered it is good to be kind and having a good temper always. I am not a kind soul but i always try to stop myself from doing things that will hurt the others and try to help around those who need my help. But sometimes got backfired. And I realised it really doesn't pay to be kind regardless to those u know or those u don't know at all.
I don't have a good temper, but i will not lose my temper easily. I don't mind about jokes and teasing on me cos i know it's for the sake of fun. BUT if they go overboard, i will be pissed off. I am still a human afterall, yes, maybe i am a clown, and you think i should deserved to be teased in whichever way. Well, just go ahead. But bear in mind there is always a limit. Clowns can be unhappy sometimes, we are not taken for granted.
If you take advantage of my not-so-fiery temper just because you think i won't be angry and you can manipulate in any way you want, u better watch out. I will give you a chance, once you lose the chance, I am not going to forgive you.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/angry.gif) annoyed
|
September 24th, 2004
04:19 am - WEIRD,UNUSUAL,UNIQUE = ALL my fav STUFFS
Some people say I have WEIRD taste, some people say I have UNIQUE taste, some people say I have BAD taste and of course a few people say I have GOOD taste.
When young, I used to play with this cousin of mine, whose taste is very unique and different. The things he liked, the things he bought, the things he chose would always be different from others, at first you would find them not very attractive but eventually you would say.. HEY! his taste is not bad huh! Cos the beauty within them gradually release and always lasted longer than those which are common and graded nice by the majority.
Under his strong influence, i begin to like unusual, uncommon, unique and weird stuffs. Not that common things are not nice or pleasant at all, but because there are common, i have no interest in them.
*Let's call unusual,uncommon,unique and werid stuffs as U3W.
To me, U3W stuffs bring out an attitude towards life, to be diferent from others and to view everything in a different angle.
Everything can be viewed in 360 degree. When things seem to be true, when facts are believed to be correct, they can be 100 percent wrong. In fact, they are just a general perception by human beings. Most of the time, we just accept it because everybody says it's correct. Study newton's law, maxwell's equations, hopital's rule, kirchoff's law, blah blah blah. We always follow the conventional way cos we believe it is correct.
During ancient time, when people were still ignorant to believe that the earth planet was SQUARE, a person disagreed and said it was ROUND (which is quite wrong lah, but better than square right?), in the end he was excuted by the ignorant mob.
Just like people think that french fries is originated from FRANCE.
Abstract painting which seems to be messy and effortless to draw for the common people, is priceless in the eyes of those painters and art lovers.
So when everybody thinks something is ugly, it can be pretty also, maybe its beauty is hidden somewhere else and you have to take another approach to see and appreciate it.
Nothing is definite, nothing is correct. Nothing is graded as beautiful cos they are always people who disagree. And of course, nothing is graded as ugly cos they are people who will find it beautiful.
So given some of the choices below, what will i choose? (but i must clarify, i am not purposely wanna be different from others but my taste is like that leh)
Country to visit: Italy or Egypt > Egypt
Language to take: Japanese or spanish > spanish (bonita!)
Type of music: sentimental or rock > rock! I hate most of the sentimental songs and of course I hate boybands. yurks!
hairstyle: long and sweet or short and stylo > short and stylo
jay chou's fav song: an jing or shuang jie gun > shuang jie gun
backpack or trekking > trekking!
nike or quiksilver > quiksilver, of cos! dun understand why people like nike so much.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/silly.gif) weird
Current Music: Jay chou's music
|
September 15th, 2004
09:45 pm - Tok cok time
There is a guy who always talk to mi almost everyday on MSN regardless i put ONLINE or BUSY mode. At first i felt quite annoyed, cos did'nt know what to talk to him. And he always talked to me when i was doing tutorials. Grrr..
He is younger than me, so i always tell DINO that young guys are childish and i don't know what to talk to him. So as time goes by, i gradually fit myself in a more childish manner when crapping with him so as to entertain him.
There was a week he didn't talk to me at all. Don't know why i feel a bit of lonely on MSN...ha! What the hell am i writting? All right.. and I can't believe an old woman or rather a mature lady (uh erm)like mi, miss his childish talk! I never take the initiative to talk to him, never at all, perhaps there's something to do with old age.
Well he never cross my mind as eligible guy, not even during the finale night of FOC...until after recently the PRC man aka Jianda, his FOC camp senior said he knows how to play violin.Hee..hee..
Oh? Am i a materialistic girl? ha! i tend to get attracted to those who knows how to play piano, violin or cello...soft spot!
But whether he is the one i fancy, i cant confirm, cos i am super frickle minded, i change my mind very fast like a pendulum swinging in the grandpa clock.
All right, back to my stupid, cant-seem-to-solve design project.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/drunk.gif) drunk
Current Music: bu neng he ni yi qi - stefanie sun
|
09:06 pm - My beloved Jielun!!!
Oh finally brought my beloved Jielun back to hall. The black and silver SCOTT TAMPICO, why called it Jie LuN? Cos Jie Lun aka Jay chow is my darling, and my scott is as dearest as my darling! ha! Yes, and i have to eat grass for months.
Wanna go for a ride today, but then the road is slippery, as a kiasi non-cyclist, i don't dare to take the risk of getting bak gua.
That ah bao told me not to worry cos he has a good first aid kit back in hall, so sarcastic! ha!
Anyway, I am one step nearer to triathlon next year!Yeah!Just one small step.
I am very kiasi, and i need to frequently indulge myself in cycling and swimming in order to build up my confidence...else i will have all the frightening thoughts crawling into my mind.
I used to wonder why my cyclist friends are so crazy about bikes, now i understand why. The thrill of dashing down a slope, the achievement of conquiring an upslope, the excitement of speeding as fast as the wind on the road...are just so great!A bicycle is more than a sport or transport. Just like a car, it needs good parts to be fast and furious. Behind it, there is a great pile of knowledge waiting to unfold.
Well, for all these to be true it always needs a catalyst, and that is passion.
I cant help laughing and grinning at my jie lun... when can i go for a ride?
Current Mood: excited
|
September 6th, 2004
05:05 pm - let it be a failure
I decided to quit lifeguard. there goes my 200 bucks, i have been heart aching since last weekend about this. This is a painful decision i have to make. Blame it on my stupidity that i thot i can manage my studies with it, blame it on my ears which accept friends' slight persuasions easily. I should have follow my head not to join, instead i joined it just to keep friend accompany. Stupid!
I enjoy learning lifeguard but the stress i always bring along to the course, makes me unable to enjoy it well.
Since weekends, i've been pondering why i keep doing things which making people happy and not myself, and more important, why i give up so easily when doing things now?
I kept drawing and drawing to relieve the stress and unhappiness in me, but to realise every pieces i drawn is a sad one. Seems like everything around me is just so greyish and dull.
Yes, jess is right..maybe this is the time i should re-define what i want. Study and prepare my 1st thriathlon next yr?
And realli think thrice before spending money.
When i said i am stressed up with my school work, I am really stress up! i don't think a non-final year student can imagine the stress. Let them go ahead and say it's an excuse for me to quit lifeguard, well...i don't wish to make any further explanations. They will know it when the time comes.
Right now, I just hate myself for throwing away the 200 bucks. I just want to find some peaceful moments to concentrate on my studies.
I am not angry over the mocking anymore, just a small matter, life has to go on.
|
September 3rd, 2004
04:47 pm - Tok Cok Time
I am in hall right now. Not sure to go lifeguard, go for frd's bdae celebration or jus go back home. What happen to me again??! Argh!!!
Why I cant be happy as before and be happy whenever i feel like to...??
My friend cried in front of me today, i feel so sorry for her. Yet i couldn't do anything to make her mood lighter, she was so depress. I feel very sad to see her so deeply hurt by a irresponsible and childish guy.
Not only I find myself not able to help her and also stupidly, I caught myself in a situation where i have been doing a lot of silly and non-constructive stuffs to myself. What the hell has gone wrong in me?
I begin to hate myself for being angry so easily when people mocking at me. By right i should be able to take it. But yesterday i suddenly felt so offended when ppl mock at me as usual. I begin to hate myself expecting too much from friends. Grrrr...
I really want to find back the peaceful pace which a final year student should have. Study with a peaceful mind, and not being bothered by other commitments. I felt so happy to be able to catch the time to study after netball session ydae. Perhaps i shld quit lifeguard and withdraw myself totally from all the cockanadan stuffs. After all, what my friend said is true...at this point of time, i should do things more to myself and don't give myself extra commitments just to make friends happy. Nobody can helps me if i cant graduate on time. When you realli cant graduate, all they can say is "so sorry for u".
Maybe I should go back to yoga and pick up drawing again to calm myself down. And I should learn to say NO.
Current Mood: blank
|
August 31st, 2004
11:32 pm - tok cok time
Jus now browsing through friendster...happened to know that the guy whom once wrote a love poem for me has a girlfriend already! OH MY GOD! feeling quite sad..not because I like him but he got hitched before me!!!! argh! anyway, anybody can get hitch before me...
it's jus that the feeling of jealousy suddenly whooz out of my mind...
grrrrr......
come to think about it, he quite not bad looking...studying phamacy somemore...but abit weird weird...perhaps he made the right decision for not liking me..hahahahha!
Current Mood: jealous
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
piggypeugeot's journal